She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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