Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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