That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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