JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
