Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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