just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
