He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
