The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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