it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
