She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Pants are for mortals
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
