last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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