so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
