To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
