I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
