I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
