Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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