Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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