just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
