Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
