Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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