dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
