How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
