He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
