i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
