im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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