i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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