Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
