Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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