All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
These tits shall not be calmed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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