Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
