Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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