Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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