Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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