The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
