shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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