I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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