If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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