i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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