loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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