In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
