i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
