i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
