watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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