you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
