Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I got inside last night via doggy door
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
