Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He is an equal opportunity slut.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
