Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
