what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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