you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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