I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
