I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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