is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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